I Want My Lobola Back


What happens when she calls off the wedding before you are officially or even traditionally married? A lot can go wrong before the big day, one of you will cheat, show your true colours, become abusive or worse just change your mind. What happens to your lobola then, do you get it back or just let it go? do you work on fixing your relationship for the sake of not loosing all your money? The question still stands, Would you demand your lobola back.

The reality may not be spoken of, however people are coming forward in confessing stories only seen on TV. People have entered into marriages they feel uncomfortable in, marriages forced into. Gender based violence is still a factor that transpires mostly through lifelong partners. But the great news comes with knowing that through the strength of awareness, many are capable of leaving before it reaches death or sport the signs and red flags before it escalates to violence.

Marriage can be a beautiful union if entered into wholeheartedly and not pressured into to. Social media can portray the beautiful side of it and the res twill be figured throughout the process and journey. it is unfortunate also that there are men who are still crying for a refund on the lobola they paid. One story involved a man who payed of R70 000 of the R98 demanded, only for the bride to run away with his best friend on the day of the traditional wedding.

Another involves a man who found his bride in bed with another man the day after their wedding. There are plenty of stories relating to wanting a refund. “I paid 95k of the charged 120k…then week 2 after negotiations i discovered she is not what I want…haven’t claimed it then. One thing i learnt. Your GF can change overnight once you pay lobola and be something you wouldn’t spend your life with”

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